Privileged Customers Only

Welcome to the privileged customer page. Not everyone gets to see this page.  Most people who come to this web site are, frankly, not of the appropriate caliber.  In this section of the site, actual product is exchanged for your money.  This space has been hidden to keep out the riffraff. Although I regret the inconvenience, I do require you to agree to the following non-disclosure agreement before proceeding:

In the course of "navigating" these "pages", it is anticipated that I shall encounter certain trade secrets or confidential or proprietary information. The website owner, (herein refered to as The Head Monkey), and I have entered into this Agreement in order to assure the confidentiality of such trade secrets and confidential or proprietary information in accordance with the terms of this Agreement. As used in this Agreement, the term "Proprietary Information" shall mean all trade secrets or confidential or proprietary information designated as such in writing by The Head Monkey, whether by letter or by the use of an appropriate proprietary stamp or legend, prior to the time any such trade secret or confidential or proprietary information is disclosed. Notwithstanding blah blah blah whatever ,information which is orally disclosed by The Head Monkey shall constitute Proprietary Information Until The End Of All Time ya da dee ya da dah etcetera and so on. I shall hold in confidence, and shall not disclose to any person , all Proprietary Information, and shall use such Proprietary Information only for the purpose for which it was disclosed. I shall not divulge any information to third parties be they blabbermouths, snitches, stinky tattletales or my mother-in-law(s). My statutory rights are not affected. Void where prohibited by law. Specific Performance: The parties hereto consider the restrictions contained herein to be reasonable to protection of business, time and geographic area. If, however, such restric tions are found by any court having jurisdiction to be unreasonable because they are (or any one of them is, as the case may be) too broad, then such restriction will nevertheless remain effective, but shall be considered amended as to protection of business, time or geographic area (or any one of them, as the case may be) in whatever manner is considered reasonable by that court, and as so amended shall be enforced. The parties hereby declare themselves "The Monkees" and, while acknowledging that third parties have alleged that they engage in sloth, loitering, vagabondery and excessive leisure, they nonetheless maintain, both orally and in writing, that their primary occupation is the performance, via airwave transmission and live performance, of vocal musical composition, and that furthurmore owing to the demanding nature of such occupation, are not left with sufficient time to engage in activities disparaging to others regardless of whether such activities might be legally construed as libel or slander. The parties hereto agree that if there is a breach by the Institution of any of the covenants contained herein, the damage to The Head Monkey will be substantial, although difficult to quantify, and money damages will not afford The Head Monkey an adequate remedy. Therefore, if any such breach occurs, in addition to any other remedies as may be provided by law, The Head Monkey shall have the right to specific performance of the covenants contained herein by way of temporary or permanent injunctive relief. I hereby agree that the second season of "The Simpsons" was as good as they get and that anyone who says they like Black Jellybeans is either pretending or just plain dumb. This Agreement supersedes all prior agreements, written or oral, between The Head Monkey and Myself relating to the subject matter of this Agreement. This Agreement may not be modified, changed or discharged, in whole or in part, except by an agreement in writing signed by The Head Monkey and myself.

Name:
Date: 

[I AGREE]

[I DISAGREE]


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